FAQ
Here, you will find everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask! If you don’t find the answers to your questions, feel free to contact us directly, we will answer with pleasure.
General
What makes this approach special?
The How to Talk approach comes from the humanist movement. It is based on what is common to all human beings: the importance of taking feelings into account, those of children as well as ours. The authors of this approach were able to present it without much theory. They address our feelings rather than our intellect so that we become aware of what happens to children when we only use “our common sense”. They help us realize little by little that our usual ways of doing things are not working and that we are missing out on what we want to give to children: self-confidence, autonomy, self-discipline, responsibility… They offer us new ways to do so with concrete skills that can be used immediately in our daily lives!
The books date from 45 years ago, isn't it obsolete as a method?
On the contrary, the skills offered are more relevant than ever! The approach influences the relationships between human beings and, more particularly, the interactions between adults and children. The authors were very “avant-garde” for their time. The difference with today is that the interest in this type of concern has grown.
We talk a lot about the well-being of the child and the benevolence of the adult towards the child, but does this approach also help the adults to feel better?
The more you use the skills proposed in the How to Talk approach, the better you feel. The approach is based, among other things, on acknowledging feelings, of both the adults and children. When adults are able to recognize and name the children’s feelings, they start to understand their importance. Learning to get in touch with your own feelings and expressing them as you go, without hurting, is a real relief for adults too!
Are there any real benefits for adults to participate in this type of workshop even if they have read the books?
Without a doubt ! In a workshop, we go further than just reading the books (role playing, expression of feelings, etc.) In addition, we feel supported by the other participants by sharing each others ideas and experiences. For those who still have doubts, just read the many enthusiastic testimonials from adults who have had this experience.
Can we participate in some meetings of a workshop and not others?
Each workshop is built on a progression skilfully orchestrated by the authors. Each meeting makes it possible to address a particular theme, but there is a common thread from one session to the next. To fully benefit from the experience and integrate the many skills offered, it is therefore preferable to follow all the meetings.
When you take part in a workshop, how often do you meet?
For a self-managed workshop, the frequency is to be defined with your group. Chairpersons/Facilitators may suggest different formats. The order of the meetings should not be changed but the spacing between two meetings can vary.
Is taking other workshops required before following "How to Talk So Kids Can Learn"?
No. In the “How to Talk So Kids Can Learn” workshop, the basis of the approach are covered and applied to a school context.
Should I read the books before participating in the workshops?
It’s not necessary since following the workshops includes reading books related to the theme of the workshop. However, if you want to read the books, do not deprive yourself! They are so rich in examples and testimonies and with each time that you read it again, you can make new realizations and be touched by different passages.
Does attending these workshops require personal work between meetings?
As the authors say, the value of these encounters increases in direct proportion to the contribution that each brings to it. The specific experiences (positive and negative) that you will have using these skills – between two meetings – as well as your personal reactions to the readings, can be enlighting and inspiring for the rest of the group.
Do I have to buy material and books to be able to follow these workshops?
To follow a workshop, you will need the workbook. The Faber & Mazlish books are all relevant and helpful to have, especially the one corresponding to the workshop you are following. Some workshop leaders order the workbooks for each participant and give them during the first meeting. Others will ask you to order them yourself in advance.
How much does following a workshop cost?
To participate in a self-managed group, you will have to purchase:
- the chairperson’s guide for the chosen workshop,
- the corresponding workbooks (one per participant),
- and the accompanying books.
Click here for prices.
If the workshop is organized and led by a chairperson/facilitator, in addition to the purchase of the notebook and accompanying books, the cost of the workshop depends on each facilitator.
For Pros
About this approach
Who are the workshops for?
Is the approach up to date and does it correspond to recent discoveries made in neuroscience?
The How to Talk approach existed before recent studies in Neuroscience. These only confirm what the authors already suspected. Namely that kindness and empathy are essential elements that contribute to the development of human beings, young and old.
Does it really work?
Whether you use it directly with a child or groups of children you work with, the How to Talk approach is really useful for the quality of relationships between everyone. It offers many concrete tools that everyone can learn at their own pace and use directly in their daily lives. For those who still have doubts, just read the many enthusiastic testimonials from parents and professionals who have had this experience.
Are the workshops interesting for professionals already trained in their profession?
There are few initial training courses that offer a respectful communication approach focused on the adult-child relationship. The How to Talk approach offers tools that can be used immediately, whatever the context. Many professionals have already trained in this approach around the world (educational sector, school, health professionals, etc.) to complete their training and evolve in their practice.
Is the content of the workshops adapted to the situations encountered in a professional context? Especially when working with groups of children?
The How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Siblings Without Rivalry workshops were written to be given primarily to groups of parents. However, many professionals have already benefited from them (nursery staff, social workers, educators in leisure centres, psychologists, speech therapists, etc.). The How to Talk so Kids Can Learn workshop was written for parents and educators, but can also be beneficial for any adult working with children, individually or in groups. While the examples of situations and skills are sometimes oriented towards the school context, many of them are applicable in different contexts. Participating in these workshops as a professional can sometimes require taking a step back and transposing the example to your own situation.
Is this type of workshop suitable for teachers who work with older adolescents and/or young adults who are pursuing studies?
The examples are given for children of all ages. Between two meetings, participants are asked to practice the new skills in the context that suits them. They will have the opportunity to discover for themselves the effectiveness of the tools offered in the How to Talk approach, including with young adults, and to testify to the rest of the group.
Can this approach and these workshops be useful for mental health professionals?
Social workers, psychologists, doctors, therapists and other health professionals can benefit from reading the books and participating in the workshops, especially for the people they accompany. It has been observed that some people, on medication or in the midst of a psychotic crisis, no longer having access to their real emotions, may not be sensitive to welcoming feelings during this period. However, during these same periods, it is possible to continue using other skills that remain very effective during therapeutic support: descriptive compliment, encouraging cooperation, alternatives to punishment, etc.
Organize a workshop in an organization
Do you have to follow any other workshops before “How to Talk so Kids Can Learn”?
No, the basics of the other workshops are covered in “How to Talk so Kids Can Learn” and transposed to a context that applies to teachers and professionals accompanying children.
Can we be sure that the facilitator will faithfully convey the approach given that there is no mandatory training?
In their way of presenting skills, the authors show that it is above all a question of horizontal sharing, since their approach is mainly based on experiences rather than on knowledge. In their chairperson’s guides, they indicate that participants do not need someone who has all the answers to their questions, but a pilot who will guide them through the various exercises by reading the guidelines and facilitating sharing and discussions. To respect their wish to make their approach on adult-child communication accessible to as many people as possible, there is no mandatory training to become a chairperson/facilitator of the How to Talk approach.
Do the workshops have official recognition in terms of diploma?
At the end of a Faber-Mazlish workshop, you can receive a certificate that attests to your participation in the meetings. It is not a diploma. No one can issue a diploma attesting that by participating in a workshop, one has become an expert in adult-child communication. If you can put the proposed skills into practice and see their effectiveness quickly, it is of course their regular practice that will help you to integrate them into your daily life for the long term and to refine them over time… without ever becoming an expert.
How to organize a workshop for teachers and educational staff in schools?
As of now, here is what chairperson’s/facilitators have been able to put in place, to our knowledge. In public establishments: • By going directly through a teacher interested in the approach • If you are a teacher yourself, by contacting your principal/headmaster and/or your educational adviser or inspector • By going through a parents’ association • By contacting a school board administrator. In private establishments: • Going directly through a teacher interested in the approach • Going through a parents’ association • If you are a teacher yourself, by contacting your director teacher and/or your pedagogical advisor or inspector • By contacting a training organization in your region.
Click here for the presentation of the How to Talk So Kids Can Learn workshop.
How long does a workshop last?
The duration of a workshop depends on the number of workshop meetings, the availability of participants in their establishment – or company – and/or the facilitator. It is suggested that the meetings be spaced at least one week apart – this can go up to 4-5 weeks – to give the participants time to practice and do the readings between two meetings. However, the workshop can also be given “accelerated”, at the rate of 2 topics / day. In this case, we suggest a follow-up meeting a few months later to allow participants to discuss their successes and difficulties.
Do we have to offer the complete workshop?
“Mandatory” is not a word used in the How to Talk approach. Each workshop is built on a progression skilfully orchestrated by the authors. Each meeting makes it possible to address a particular topic, but there is a common thread from one session to the next. To fully benefit from the experience and integrate the many skills offered, it is therefore preferable to follow all the meetings of a given workshop.
Is there follow-up sessions for professionals who have taken the workshops?
After having experienced a workshop, it is very helpful for the participants to continue the adventure during follow-up meetings. The fact of exchanging with others, as one integrates the skills into one’s professional practice, is supportive and enriching. At the end of a cycle, if the person who proposed the workshop does not suggest one, you can decide yourself to organize informal meetings with colleagues who have followed one of the workshops to discuss concrete cases. . Note that at the end of the participant workbook of Part 2 of the “How to Talk So Kids Can Learn” workshop, ideas and exercises are proposed for leading a “self managemed” meeting.